im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
