I think my vagina is haunted
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's great music for shaving your balls
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Randomize
