oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
