And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was confusing and full of hummus
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
