i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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