How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
