First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
