why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I understand Curling. That high.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
