I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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