I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
