Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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