any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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