Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
