Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
