so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize