I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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