He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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