swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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