Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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