that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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