friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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