So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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