Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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