He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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