He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
