No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
