My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
