taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
