glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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