I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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