I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize