i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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