I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
