U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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