they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
