It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
