Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
