i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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