All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
