eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
