I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
