good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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