Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
