i permit you to call me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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