ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
