His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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