I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
