he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
