Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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