I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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