If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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