hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
