I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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