We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I would fuck him just for his dog
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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