it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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