There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
