Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.