Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

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(740): View more from Ohio

hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

(734): View more from Michigan

hooker boots and all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.

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(925): View more from California

We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.

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