Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
