My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
