dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can text with my tongue
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
