i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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