I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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