I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
